Nanobot Child
by N7WITHPRIDE
Summary: Human!Wheatley's life now has an interesting new addition in it. It's bloody evil, is what it is. Pure fluff and humour.


He was a demon nanobot placed on this planet to make his every waking moment an agonizing, suspenseful, existence in which he was constantly wondering where the next assault would come from. He'd wonder if it would be an aerial attack from a toy car or maybe a ground booby trap by marbles. Wheatley's entire life had been reduced to nothing more than a war like game of which he continually lost on a daily basis.

Aperture, hell, even GLaDOS was sounding very appealing right about now.

Even though his opponent wasn't even half his size in height or weight he was still a worthy foe. At times Wheatley even felt like the opposition was mentally superior to him. He quickly dashed those thoughts away. Still, the way the little monster would analyze him with those knowing bright blue eyes and then smile as if he'd come to some ingenious conclusion how to make Wheatley's life a living hell for the day. The little devil was also a master of manipulation. He'd tell Wheatley in that adorable little cutesy human voice that he loved him only to turn around and slap him against the face with a small hand.

And it stung.

Humans, particularly very little humans were confusing beyond belief even now.

This was Wheatley's life ever since Chell had given birth to their son, Stephen, nearly four years ago. From the moment the infant was brought home he'd cry endlessly despite his father's ludicrous attempts to soothe the screaming child only to become content when Chell held him. Wheatley was convinced his son had it out for him even while he was still in the womb. Mysterious place that is, the womb. And apparently a manufacturing plant for pure unfiltered evil as well if Stephen was anything to go by.

Everyday he'd come home from a long day at work hoping to relax only to find something terrible awaiting him. He entered his home one day to find Chell, the always composed and calm Chell frantically running about trying to find something that would help stop the toilet from over flowing. The toilet which Stephan had flushed two pairs of socks down. Another day he tiredly came home to find all of his clothes covered in chocolate hand prints. The next day Wheatley had seriously considered going to work in the nude and honestly saw nothing wrong with this given the situation until an exasperated Chell spent nearly an hour explain to him why that wouldn't be a good idea. In the end he had to go out and use money, another curious object, to buy more clothes, which were apparently necessary to work according to Chell anyway. And he never could forget the day he came home to find Stephen's head stuck in the back of a desk chair. Wheatley had panicked that day. He really saw no other way to remove his son from that predicament than removal of the head from body, which to Wheatley seemed like it would be unpleasant. Chell, of course, had a better, less gruesome way. It took a lot of butter and careful use of a saw to rectify that situation, and in the end Stephen came out unscathed, head intact to shoulders.

Wheatley was never one to complain about work with being so happy to just be alive, but without a doubt being a father was the hardest job ever. In the history of jobs. Human and robotic. Ever. Seriously. At times he became so frustrated he wished he could quit the job all together and go back to the much easier times.

Oh how he missed his management rail.

Then, there would be nights when Wheatley slept soundly in his bed beside Chell only to be awoken by the tiny pitter-patter of little feet. He'd feel the bed give way to a little extra weight as a small form climbed in between the two adult with a tear stained face and whispered to whom ever was awake "I had bad dream." And then with little arms that seemed so frail and delicate would grasp his father's arm tightly and snuggle close to him for protection from whatever bad dreams had shaken him.

Being a parent was indeed hard work, but at times like this Wheatley realized it was also probably the best job ever. Evil nanobot child or not.


End file.
